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A whole year?

So, I can't believe it's been over a year since my last post.  Time flies... whether you're having fun or not. 

My aunt Judy got married in May of 2013. Both my grandparents passed away in June of 2013. The later part of the summer was spent dealing with their house and estate things, plus a big client project that was a lot of work and went pretty much nowhere. 

By the time the weather started turning colder, I was in a dire state of worn-out.  Ended up needing some physical therapy just to get back to a small degree of functionality.  My roomie moved out (and back to Colorado) in December, and the rest of the winter I pretty much spent curled up in a ball, freezing my ass off-- for all appearances looking as though I was hiding from the world. But that's not true.

I spent the first part of my life believing that I didn't like people, and it's only recently I've figured out the untruth in that perception.  The truth?  Well, what's really going on is that I'm a closet introvert.  I appear outgoing and cheerful and eager to engage-- and all this is completely true.  I really do like people, but I wear out fast.  Your typical extrovert draws energy from being around other people.  They get a charge from it.  Introverts find being around other people tiring, and they need to recharge in solitude.  Well, as an introvert with a chronic pain/fatigue condition, I need to retreat to solitude more often and for a longer duration than most people.  This doesn't make me bad, or "anti-social"-- it just makes me, ME.  And now that I understand it, I'm finally ok with it. 

So, that being said, when  I say I spent most of the winter, curled up in a ball, trying to stay warm and generally keeping to myself, that's totally how it went down.  I was Resting.  Regrouping.  Recovering from 2013 and all the big life, death, and life-altering changes that went down.

But, it's finally spring.

Watch this space.

The Cast Always Changes

I was cleaning off the fridge this morning, and found a real treasure buried amidst the take-out menus, receipts, kid artwork and other assorted things.

 I sketched this a couple years ago, just for fun, with a sharpie and some highlighters I had handy.  I think I might have done it to show my nephew or boyfriend's kids, or it could have been a doodle I did while I was on hold.  Who knows? 

But when I saw this, I was touched gently by the delicate sledgehammer of sentiment.  

Shakespeare said:

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players:
they have their exits and their entrances;
and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.

Looking at this cast of characters, I can't help but think of those who have made their exits.

 The spunky little fellow at the top is Ciro, and he's gone on to a fantastic home with a family who loves him very much.  I still see him all the time since he's still boarded at the same place, but the spotlight of my stage doesn't shine on him as often.  Now he's but a bit player in my life-- and I do miss him, but I don't worry about him.  To quote The Bard again, Ciro's a fellow of infinite jest. He's center stage somewhere else, and he's finally getting to be someone's star.

The blue horse at the bottom-- demanding her cookie-- is Indy. Sadly, she died of an aneurism or heart attack shortly after I did this goofy little sketch.  It was quick.  It was probably almost painless.  She may be gone, but she still lives very vividly in my memories, dreams, and hopefully in the imagination of anyone who ever met her or will read about her in the future.  Some days-- when the wind blows just right or I see something that reminds me of her-- I miss her so badly I can barely breathe.  I'm in the process of writing a book about her, and I've been "nearly done" for the last 4 months.  Those last few chapters have been hard to even think about, much less tap out blithely on the keyboard.  Maybe if I don't finish, she'll live on forever?  I tell myself that her immortality is a lot more certain if I DO finish.  I'd probably better get back to work on it.  But I've gotta buy some Kleenex first.  (adds to shopping list)  ;)

Not all of my pets from this sketch have left the stage.  The horse in the middle, done in shades of yellow, is Hannah.  She's actually reddish, with a gold mane, but what can you expect from highlighter?  The grumpy old nag is still with us.  Fat, happy, and totally in love with my boyfriend Brett.  It's really kind of cute, since she's been the kind of horse that prefers kids.  She's semi-retired due to her heaves.  Medication helps, and when she feels up to it, we ride her some.  I think she's turning 20 this year.  I'd better check her papers.

Last but not least, is Rhett.  He's the dog in the corner, wishing for a hug.  It's funny, but when I look at this little cartoon, it's all kind of to scale.  Rhett's a borzoi-- a very tall dog-- and the horses are all basically just large ponies.  Rhett's still with me.  Always at my side.  Like Now...

Oh, what's the matter, fella?  Did I wake you up?  

There's no need to pout about it.  Just go back to sleep. 

Rhett's 7 this year and broke his leg a few months ago.  It was quite the ordeal for him-- being a front leg, it's very weight bearing and the break was in a bad place as far as being able to set it perfectly.  A top dog orthopedic surgeon in Omaha did the work, and we all made it through more or less intact, but he's got a permanent deformity to the leg and walks with a limp.  He insists that limpy borzois should get extra hugs and pampering, and it seems to be working.  As for me, I'm just glad we saved his leg.


If I were to draw a new sketch today, representing my pets currently "on the stage" of course Rhett and Hannah would still be there.  But they'd have some company.

Seriously... he's been watching me type, in between bouts of mischief. 

This is Phantom.  He was a housewarming present from Rita Rice at Aria Borzoi in Texas.  She also bred Rhett's litter.  This big goofball is about 20 months old, at present and is big, black and a supreme goofball. 

He's a living, breathing exclamation point!

He says "hi" by putting your whole body in his mouth, if it'll fit.  But he's growing up fast, and perhaps he'll
catch up to some dignity, at some point.  Really, though?  I don't care.  He makes me smile.

This is Toby.  He's a spotted saddle horse, and I'm taking some lessons and getting some help so I can work around my disability and maybe start hitting the trails again.  He's one of the most comfortable horses I've ever sat on, he's short strided but smooth, and he fits me well.  I can't say for sure if this is a "forever" kind of situation, but it could be.  I've always said that owning a horse is kind of like dating-- you get them, then you date them for a while. If it doesn't work out, you break up, and that's ok.  I just don't get the people that buy and sell horses all the time-- just like I don't get serial daters, either.  I guess some people are just looking for the fun of the moment.  But in horses-- just like in dating-- I'm more about that long-term relationship. I'm really hoping this one's a keeper, and we don't have to break up.

So, for now, Toby's kind of center stage and having an extended audition. There's no way in hell he could ever "replace" Indy.   I hate it when directors make a great story, and then have to get a new actor to play the part of an established character. That's why I'm actually grateful for their differences, because it keeps me from just handing over her script, shining the spotlight on him, and expecting him to BE her.  

So, anyway--  the stage is set.  The lights are down low, and the curtain's going up.

This is a piece of my life.  :)

Rhett Update

Ok, so we're well into the 3rd month of recovery following Rhett's broken leg.  At the  moment, he's in a soft bandage-- the splint/cast bandage thingie was removed last week.  His xrays showed some improvement with bone starting to fill in around the fractures! Yay!

One more week of this soft cast, then it's removed and he goes to bare leg.  He's cleared for LIGHT exercise... he's been up and down the street in the front now a couple times and around the block (it's a short block) once, grinning all the way.  I'm still supposed to keep him separate and confined, and carry him down stairs and keep him from jumping off the couch, etc.

So, there ya go!  I'm looking forward to things being normal for him again.  He hasn't enjoyed this at all.  I think the confinement was worse for him than the pain.  He's always been such a good dog, he's rarely heard the word "no" before.

Rhett's Cast is Off!

Rhett got his soft cast yesterday off and is recovering here at home.  He's rather annoyed with me because  I won't let him lick his incision, but he's doing all right.

He's got a "cone of shame" he has to wear when I can't be there to watch him, or at bedtime when we're sleeping.  That could contribute to his general state of annoyance... just a little. :)

Here's a closeup of the leg itself.  When I think of how bad those x-rays were, I'm very relieved at how well this seems to be healing.

What a huge, anxiety-provoking week!  But at least things seem to be going well...

Rhett's Broken Leg

 Well, the last twelve hours have been exciting...and by "exciting" I mean "nervewracking and heartbreaking."

Rhett broke his leg this morning when I let him and Phantom out for their first morning potty break.  My mom was staying overnight here, with her dog Zoe.  Last night, Zoe played quite a bit with both borzois before bedtime, and all three dogs charged around the yard, running and chasing.

This morning, mom wasn't up yet and Zoe was still in her bedroom, but the instant I opened the door to the back yard, both borzois charged out in full-on "playtime" mode.  Both charged out the door, across the porch and-- as usual-- leaped from the top step of the deck down to the yard, completely ignoring the 5 stairs in between.

Borzois are notorious for being crybabies... and Rhett is one of the biggest crybabies of them all.  In fact, he earned the nickname "sissy mamma's boy dog" because of his general sensitivity.  Many times he's taken a wrong step and tweaked something, then sat down and cried till I came and looked at it.  Yelps, whines, and various distress noises-- yep, Rhett's just expressing himself.

But this time?  I saw him land, and instead of a yelp, it was a shriek.  I've never heard a noise like that come out of a dog before, and when I saw his front leg dangling uselessly at the wrist, I KNEW with that sickening certainty that twists knots in your stomach that something was terribly wrong.

Rhett just cried and cried, shaking and screaming.  I had to grab Phantom and drag him inside, yelling for mom as loud as I could. Phantom's a little over a year old and he's a good puppy, but he's way too enthusiastic and not at all empathetic.  He did NOT understand why Rhett didn't want to play, and his friendly jostling wasn't helping.  I hated leaving Rhett out there, but it had to be done.

It's hard to describe the feeling of utter helplessness you feel, when someone you love is hurting.  Rhett shaking and crying with an obvious serious injury just rattled me right to the core.

The big stroke of luck?  My mom was here!  She's a infrequent overnight visitor as she's been back and forth between here and Omaha taking care of the Grandparents.  She's a retired nurse, but more importantly, she was able to get  the vet called, get our stuff ready, and pull the car around so we could get Rhett transported.  As for getting a badly injured borzoi into a car?  I have no idea how I managed it, but somehow I did.  I cradled him in my arms the whole way there.

 When we got him to the vet, the news was NOT good.  Rhett had pretty much shattered both bones right above the "wrist" on his right leg.  See the break, on the upper left part of the photo?

Below is another view of the injury, from the front.

This is pretty awful.

Once we had the Xrays in hand, the vet, Companion Care on South 48th Street, here in Lincoln, Dr. Doug Oxley, DVM called an orthopedic surgery specialist in Omaha, to try to get Rhett scheduled for emergency surgery.

Dr. Oxley stabilized the fracture with a splint bandage and gave Rhett something for the pain so he'd sleep for the whole trip.  It worked well... he snoozed in the back of mom's car, all stretched out with his hurt leg propped up on a handy box.  

We arrived at Midwest Veterinary Specialty Hospital in Omaha at about 1pm, on 97th and Mockingbird.  They're right next to the Animal Emergency Clinic I've always used, so it was easy to find.  

Good news:  Surgery, complete with two plates to knit the bones together, went well. He should be able to come home tomorrow morning.  It was tricky because of the location of the break, but the plates went in nicely and have stabilized the fracture so far.

Bad news: The cost.  This initial surgery is going to be between $2500 and $3000.   I've raised about half of it so far, between my savings and relatives kicking in. I hate even saying this, but honestly I could use the help.  Any donations of any size will be gratefully appreciated.  

Follow up appointment at 9am tomorrow.  He should be able to come home...  and then the healing can begin... 

Settling in...

I've had possession of the new house for a little over a month now, and have been living here for a couple weeks.  Although my list of To-Do's is long and mighty, I'm picking away at it a piece at a time as my fluctuating energy levels allow.  It seems like I'm making progress.  Slow, steady progress, but progress nonetheless.

I 'll put up some "before and after" photos soon, I promise!  

Painting still needs to happen.  The kitchen needs a lot of touch up work before the fridge and freezer move to the right wall.  I want that done soon... I want some ice cubes, dangit!  Now that the washer/dryer stack are out of the bathroom, it can be finished painting, too.  There's a spot in the dining room, and more work on the stairwell, and lots of detail left to do in the bedroom.  Looking forward to that... I have a cool headboard and some nice art to put up.  It should remind me of a springtime garden all year round.

I think I'd like to have some kind of official "housewarming" thingie the second weekend of July.  Hopefully I'll have it pretty much put together by then.

"I can has cheeze?" 

I'm blogging.  Rhett is watching me.  Either he approves of my blogging efforts, or he approves of the blueberry cheese, beef jerky and 70% cocoa dark chocolate I'm nibbling on as a late LATE dinner.

Eh, I'm pretty sure it's the cheese. :)  I'll save him an itty bitty piece... because he's Rhett.

He's no LOLcat.  But he's mine. <3